I’ve been receiving some pretty persistent nudges lately that have to do with finding clarity around where I place my priorities. Some of those nudges have been a bit in-my-face: Bill telling me that I need to “Quit working so much and learn to relax.” (This isn’t a new statement from Bill, but it came back in a rather heated conversation very recently.)
Others have been a bit more gentle, like from my sister Jenny, who asked the question, “On your death bed, what will you be thinking about: What you accomplished through work, or quality time spent with your family and friends?” OK… maybe that wasn’t much more gentle than Bill’s in-my-face nudge!
A third nudge came from friend and colleague, Clint, who mentioned that he will be shifting his work habits this summer: less time working and more time just “being.” He is leaning toward a “9 to 5” kind of schedule, versus what I would guess to be a 5:00 a.m. – 10:00 p.m. kind of schedule. His longer term goal is to be truly settled into a less-work, more-family mode within the next two years. Smart approach: ease into it.
The Challenge
The problem with heeding the advice that comes with these nudges is that I am currently obsessed with learning more about the Science of Reading, instructional leadership, professional learning communities, social emotional learning, and effective instructional coaching. Feeding that learning obsession is the abundant access to information at our fingertips. I quickly get sucked into Twitter feeds that address the above topics. Not to mention the blogs, articles, podcasts, and books around these topics.
The other problem is that I am surrounded by colleagues who are equally as driven by work. I choose to surround myself with such people. I come from such people. I’m married to such people. I’ve raised three such people.
Being Present
The thing I haven’t yet figured out, but am clearly being nudged to, is how to feed my passions, while taking care of myself (not over-working), and truly being present with those that I care about. In my sister’s talk with me, she suggested that our mental decline may be quicker than our aging parents’ decline because of the over-stimulation that comes with working too much/focusing on too many things at once.
When I chose clarity as my 2022 One Word in January, I wrote that “As a wife and mother, I will continue to work on clarity in my roll as a selfless person… who lifts my spouse and children up… I believe my efforts now could be focused on lifting them up as the people they are (not who I want them to be.)” It would be easier to lift them up if I was actually, truly, present with them.
Work-Life Balance
Perhaps the answer lies in finding that ever-elusive work-life balance. Which doesn’t necessarily mean a true 50-50 balance. I think it means that there are times when we will be able to more heavily focus on work, because work demands are higher at different times. And there are times when we will be able to more heavily focus on “life,” because work demands are lighter. Awareness of those work-life patterns, and awareness of our tendencies (to be truly present or not) during those times, may be the key to striking the just-right balance.
Compelling Reasons to Continue the Work
Despite those persistent nudges as of late, I’m compelled to keep doing the work. We are starting to see the results of implementing a high quality literacy curriculum in our district. We are inching closer to having our students read at grade level. We are five years into operating as true Professional Learning Communities, with support from Solution Tree. There is notable momentum around some important initiatives.
I’m currently working with a 7th grade student who came to us in January, unable to read. When I was alerted to the situation, I decided to jump in and run the reading intervention with “JP” myself. As an instructional coach, I probably should have coached a teacher (who has neither the time nor the skill set) to run the intervention, but I felt compelled to do this one on my own. “JP’s” progress has been slow, but there is progress. And he is such an amazing young man to work with! JP is a reminder that it is never too late, much like the following story about a WWII veteran who was unable to read. Grab a tissue for this one: