Oh adversity – you tricky wicket, you. You continue to be ever-present. Thank you for assisting me in self-reflection, growth, and continued maintenance of a positive attitude with a focus on gratitude.
Among many difficulties that arose this week, several occurred in my role as an instructional coach. The verb “coach,” as defined by Google means to “train or instruct (a team or player); give (someone) extra or private teaching.” This is the job of instructional coaching, in a nutshell. Problems arise when the teaching colleagues we work with didn’t ask to be coached. They are getting the support of instructional coaches because data indicates that the groups of students they are serving are under-performing.
Sooooo, we, the coaches, go in anyway. We don’t throw up our hands; we roll up our sleeves to do the work along side our less-than-happy-to-have-us colleagues. We listen, we affirm, we connect, and we question. Yes, we question. We question to understand; we question to ensure that our colleagues understand; we question to push thinking – all with the end goal of ensuring high levels of learning for all students.
It is not comfortable to be questioned. It can feel accusatory, and perhaps even debilitating and humiliating. The fix? Consistency and relationships. We consistently keep our work focused on student learning, and we chip away at building and maintaining relationships with the teams and the students we serve. As a coach, I strive to be transparent about the reasons behind the questions I ask. There is no hidden agenda. We ask questions for all of the reasons listed above. That’s it. No trickery here, folks.
Hopefully, coaches have the ability to “read the room,” reserving some questions for another time and trying to choose the just-right questions for the moment we are in. We don’t always get it right – we are human and make mistakes. Our intent is focused on professional growth for coach and teacher, academic and personal growth for all of our students.
Both parties are at risk of making assumptions. A coach may make the assumption that teachers don’t have a certain skill set. A teacher may make the assumption that coaches think they have all the answers (we don’t).
No matter the assumption, the one thing we know for sure is this: none of us have “arrived.” We all have room to grow. Perhaps the challenge is to recognize those areas within ourselves in which we can grow. This recognition comes with self reflection.
As I stumbled (figuratively, hopefully not literally!) out of a couple of incredibly tough meetings this week, I wondered about the regrets I would come to have from the conversations. I might regret things I said, the tone I used, or the things I didn’t say. There are likely more regrets that will creep in, but the one that keeps circling in my mind is this: In each of those difficult meetings, I wish I would have said or at least clearly conveyed, “I am not here to be right. I am here to get it right, right alongside you.”
I’ve had to tell myself over and over again, as adversity continues to be ever-present (of course it is – life is packed with adversity): if there is no struggle, there is no progress.
As we came to the close of yet another tumultuous election season this past week, I am reminded of the hope that lies in engaging in meaningful, civil discourse. No matter the partnership, group, or team that we are affiliated with, there is bound to be disagreement. There is bound to be turmoil. There are bound to be contradictions. When we know this deeply, we are better-positioned to keep our ears open in an effort to listen to understand rather than be understood, to not be surprised when the turmoil or disagreements occur, and to respond with civility.
So where do I go from here? I keep armoring up. We aren’t positive because life is easy. We are positive because life is hard. I will armor up with positivity, leaning into folks like George Couros, who seems to have the just-right messages at the just-right time, and reminds us to lift others up when we are struggling. In his weekly email this weekend, he featured some thoughts from Meghan Lawson. I love what she has to say about hope: “Hope is the belief that tomorrow can be better than today, and we are the ones who can make it so.” Hope is much bigger than a wish. It is carving out a path to get where you want to go.
My hope is that I continue to operate with a growth mindset, as “the measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” My hope is that I will recognize those ways in which I need to change. My hope is that I will work to lift others up – opportunities abound, as there is so much good in others! My hope is that I will continue to engage in self-reflection as I recognize my many weaknesses, embrace being authentic, and live up to those things I value most:
Sticky note housing my core values that has rested on the corner of my laptop for years